Sandra and I getting married September 5, 1964.Yes, 55 years and counting. The Facebook post:
"On September 5, 1964 Sandra Aileen Carlisi and Henry Tyler Hill got married in the Perry Methodist
Church. Yes, 55 years. Sandra and I stood before our families and friends and made a promise and
here we are after all those wonderful, that is full of wonder, years." As of September 6th we have
received 98 likes, 70 comments and three shares.People want to see relationships last and to see
promises kept.
People want relationships, lasting and healthy relationships where you and your partner really become partners and best friends. The two of you create a family, and you and your partner agree to build a life around the family you two have created. You build your family like you would build a covered wagon to go west, and then you both agree to harness yourselves to that wagon, that family, and pull it through space and through time. At times one pulls harder than the other, but that evens out and both of you together continue your lifetime journey. Change, the one constant, travels with you every day pushing you and holding you back and putting obstacles in your way. How you react to change, how you adapt to change determines the future of your family as you travel on your time-space journey.
Resistance to change reflects a core attitude of humans, and that resistance to change may manifest itself anywhere along the continuum of rational to irrational specially when most words to describe the change argument hold metaphor meanings. So the first suggestion: Don't argue over words. Look at actions, measurable behaviors and the reality of undoubted deeds. How does cognitive therapy, talking therapy, work without drugs or any physical intervention many people respond to cognitive therapy. The therapist helps the patients archive some words in their head and helps them learn new words. Essentially, the patients learn a new song. You can do this for yourself by yourself and together with your partner. Events, no matter how hurtful to you, do not cause reactions. Events trigger a belief system which you learned and that learned belief system triggers a reaction. You can archive your old learned belief system and learn a new belief system that can save your relationship. If you decide in the deepest part of you that you want to try to save the relationship: JUST DO IT!
Celebrate each other just as you did on your wedding day. Celebrate each other every day. Celebrate the promise you both made on your wedding day. Remember free will works both ways: you may leave any time, but your partner may leave any time. Celebrate that your partner didn't leave, and even celebrate that you decided not to leave. Sometimes it comes down to one day at a time, but not very often, in fact, hardly ever, maybe once or twice in all the years. Bring joy to each other, the same joy you brought to each other the day you married. I posted "The Folk Wisdom about Pain and Change" because pain will come to your journey through time-space, but if you face it together hand in hand as you did when you married, you will get through the pain and emerge stronger.
